Chapter 10 Reservation
Pulling up to Morton’s an inevitable knot appeared in his stomach. A valet gentleman called “Richard” took the lovely task of parking the car, giving SB no more time to stall. He paced back and forth in front of the prestigious restaurant, attempting to pull himself together. Paying no mind to the curious wondering eyes he walked steadily through the large white doors. A gust of scents met him in the lobby; steak, lemons, sea foods, wine and lavender. Chatter floated about the large dining room. The cherry wood on crème décor was breathtaking. The precisely made wall and ceiling panels were a glowing cherry wood along with the cushioned chairs that accompanied each table. A playground of crème walls and table cloths matched it. Original Matisse paintings hung confidently against the walls while large flowerpots of lavender roses sat sparingly about. The perfect place for the two about a week ago. But now spurred teasing thoughts of how amazing the evening could have been.
“Can I help you sir?” A man in a flawlessly tailored suit asked. Suddenly Safaree felt out of place wearing his usual jean, tee, and fitted.
“Reservation for Onika”
“Ahh yes your date is already here. Straight back all the way down, last table on the left” He pointed before wondering off to assist others.
“Date” SB mumbled to himself. If only that man knew. Once he hit the corner no one else was present. At that moment, shoulders hunched Nicki rose from the table, preparing to give up and leave this torturous environment. It wasn’t until her gaze came up from the empty table that she spotted him. All movement between the two seized. His head tilted to the side as he studied her. He felt like she'd be different somehow, a stranger with an unfamiliar essence, someone he didn't recognize and did not know. Not "his" Nicki anymore but someone else’s. Drake's Nicki. But the mask she held was very familiar. The strained, disturbed, sleep deprived look she often had when things went horribly wrong but now had a hint of light beneath the rest. She appeared the same but the tension of the reunion reminded them of the reason they'd been apart.
Nicki couldn’t help but be in shock. If he hadn’t showed, how could she be upset? The reason would have come back to her. BUT in spite of all SB still came. For her. Unbearable guilt rose, consuming her completely. Since leaving Drake’s apartment nothing but regret rolled from her thoughts. So much about this uncontrollable thing they call love. With nothing but time to think in the car on her way, things began to become a little less blurry. With Drake it would never be more than “high school crush” feelings. In a way he went about things the wrong way. Just like most other guys she’s encountered in her life. Took one look and wanted all of her from the gate. Some things a girl should never rush, because if she does she’ll only hurt herself. And instead of trying to take things slow he wanted to jump right into a serious relationship. Instead of guiding her through maze and coming out together, he stood there lost in the dark with her. But the man standing right before her eyes worked with her to escape; became her best friend, before wanting anything more. He loved her in slow motion, removing the pressure, allowing her to take her time, really getting to know her. And the differences spoke volumes.
Unknowingly she sat back down, no longer wanting to leave, hoping SB would do the same. But before he came back to reality a chair was holding him up. When he got there he didn’t know. Their extended silence screamed around the table making all the other meaningless conversations inaudible. She spoke first.
"How have you been?" Fear of saying the wrong thing and driving him away was apparent in her voice.
"How do you think.” His rhetorical question came out harsher than he meant. She looked down at the lined up cutlery, fidgeting. SB’s stare was piercing, revealing every emotion he felt. The extravagant scenery meant absolutely nothing.
“How are you tonight? Good?” The waitor asked. “Noah” was printed on his cherry colored nametag.
“Yes thank you” Nicki lied. “Can you give us a few minutes?”
“Sure, I’ll be around.” Noah strutted off. Silence.
"I just didn't think you'd come after..." Finishing the sentence was unnecessary.
"That’s why I came. I wanna know why. Do you really love me?”
Moisture began to pool in her big eyes. “Of course I do, Safaree you know this.”
“Then why’d you do it?” His voice broke, unsure if he was prepared for an honest answer. Her next few statements were intelligible, nothing but nervous babbling. He decided to make the question easier.
“Do you love him?” She flinched away from the question, not knowing how to answer. She did love him, but not in the same way she loved SB. The difference she loved Drake, but she was in love with Safaree. And somehow she’d have to reassure him of his place in her heart.
“I guess I have my answer.” In an attempt at protecting himself from further disappointment SB got up from the table.
“Don’t leave” she pleaded reaching out. Closing his eyes in surrender SB sat back down.
“You’re gonna tell me something. I’m not gonna be walking around looking stupid.”
“And I don’t want you to. I didn't mean for any of this to happen. I know I hurt you and I’m so sorry. I wasn’t myself that night, I needed someone and Drake was there. He helped the void I felt when you weren’t around.”
Safaree listened intently, not knowing what to think or say. He said nothing.
“Even so, you were the one I wanted. He’s important to me yes, but I don’t need him. I need you. He will never come before you.” Her desperate eyes begged for his understanding, needing him to believe her.
“Do you love him?”
“Yes. But not in that way. Safaree he and I will never be anything. I need you to be confident in that. I know I’ve done things to make you think otherwise but you’re all I want and I'm sorry for making you question that.”
Noah was approaching the table again; SB waved him off. Nicki laid her hand on the table out to him. His thumb traced her palm. A jolt of electricity shot through her. She’d been deprived of his touch for too long.
“Are you gonna say something?” He hadn’t spoken much since they’ve been there.
“What do you want me to say Nicki?” Even saddened and confused his voice still wrapped around her name like a caress. “That I forgive you. I do. But I’m not about to act like everything is back to normal.”
That response came as a surprise but wasn’t unexpected. Her face drooped even lower. “I know. Just come home, we can’t fall apart like this.” His finger continued to dance circles in her palm.
“We’re not gonna fall apart. I just don’t know what I wanna do yet. Were you planning to eat?”
“No” She replied in a stern voice. “I’m not hungry. I only came to see you.”
“Me either. Let’s get outta here” SB got up from the table and waited for Nicki to follow. Side by side they walked through the dreamy restaurant out into the dry LA heat. A slight drizzle rained down from the dark blue misty sky. Nicki hoped that this was it. That Safaree was going to go home with her and this whole miserable ordeal could be locked away in the past. She waited alone while SB went to get their keys from the valet. He looked so much different than when he first came in, relieved as was she. With a half smile he led her to “his” car that she drove over.
“I love you” His voice was hushed. The light visible in her eyes when she’d first saw him walk in was back times two.
“I love you” Sincerity backed the three words. A slight kiss on the forhead was all he left behind before wandering to his newest Ferrari and driving away.
P.s Tweet me review this time dammit…y’all just be leaving me hanging with no feedback…sheesh help a bitch out -____-
