This Is It

Chapter 11      This Is it

Glad to have made somewhat of an amends with SB, Nicki began her drive home. Feeling two times better as she did before seeing him, the next logical decision was to finally clear the air with Drake and relieve any tension or unanswered questions once and for all. When she arrived back to his condo, he looked as if he’d been crying. His eyes were red and slightly puddled and he smelled of alcohol.

“You’re back.” Shock was clear in his sudden ecstatic tone accompanied by a slight drunken edge.

“I am” Walking past him she took a seat at the breakfast bar where was clearly sitting before she showed up. A half empty glass sat next to a bottle of patron.

“Have you been drinking?”

“A little” The amount left in the bottle said differently. “Okay a lot. Only you can make me do that.”

“I don’t want you to”

“Then I won’t” He shoved the glass and bottle into the sink and took his place on the stool, slouching forward.  “Anything you want.”

“What’s wrong?” He asked holding her hand when she hadn’t spoken or looked his way. Instead of ripping it away she left her hand in his.

“I need you to hear me. I mean really hear me. Are you listening?”

“Course I am. What’s on your mind?” Now he held her hand in both of his, while lazily swaying in a nearly drunken stupor.

“Me and you…”

“What about us?” The fact that she brought them up without his help excited him. Finally she was ready for him.

“That’s just it, there is no us. As friends yes I love you but not in any other way.” Having to speak these words was a lot harder then she’d imagined.

“Don’t say that” Those pools that were present in Drake’s eyes before Nicki’s arrival were back.

“I am saying it. Nothing between us will change I promise. But it’s me and Safaree and I need you to respect that. I accept the cute little flirty things you do and say because that’s just how you are. But you can’t go beyond that ever.”

“C’mon Nicki don’t…What did I do wrong? Why can’t it be me?” His strong hands were gripping her arms, his desperate expression was overwhelming.

“You did nothing wrong Drake it’s just not the same with you.” Standing up between his legs Nicki wiped his tears away.

“I need you” He whispered leaning into her touch.

“You still have me. I’m not going anywhere”

“I need you the way he has you. I just wanna be here for you” He had her hands again.

“Then be here for me”

“I’m trying, but you won’t let me! Every time you push me away!” He was on his feet, throwing his hands in air.

“If you learned how to take NO for an answer we wouldn’t be here right now!”

“If you could just realize that you love me the way I love you!”

A deep sigh escaped her. “If you’d just realize that I don’t.”

A horrified expression dominated Drake’s features, he stood unmoving.

“I’m sorry.” Nic regretted how that came out. “You know we don’t have to do this each other.”

“Yeah. “ He calmly plopped down on the cushioned stool. “I guess you really mean it huh?”

“Yeah.” She followed suit, and sunk down onto the empty stool. It was silent for a while, the light rain misted outside the windows.

“You know I'm never gonna give up."

"Yeah, I figured that" Silence.

 "But I’ll always be here. You know if you ever change your mind and if I haven't driven you away.” Drake smiled. The mood was lighter now. Like the silence cleansed the tension. Nicki’s answering laugh lit the dull room. Though the circumstances were the same, this new acceptance and understanding made it easier to bare. It was almost twelve, in an instant Nic decided to get away before another depressing comment or question spurred.

“I hate to go but my pillow’s calling” She chimed rising from the imprinted stool cushion.

“You can sleep over if you want. So you don’t have to drive.” An evil glare was her answer.

“I know I’m just joking. I’ll walk you out.” Hand in hand Drake walked Nicki to the door. “Feel free to stop by anytime”

“mhmm” This time when leaving out the back door of the building, seeing the light reflecting off of her pink diamond didn’t bring a feeling of guilt and dread but curiosity and anxiousness. Would the one who bestowed the pink gem upon her be waiting at their condo? And if not should she make the move? Pulling out of the parking garage a buzz shook the blackberry resting on top of her louie bag. The text alert light blinked.

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-T- TBC ♥