Complications - Part 8

Chapter 5    Complications

Part 8

The isolated, stripped cell was cold and unfeeling. Each wall precisely designed to hold him back from the freedom in which he longed for. The cramped enclosure with barred doors and no windows confined him. He lay motionless on the small metallic bed frame on the tattered, worn out mattress. The thin blankets only teased his frozen over skin with cravings of warmth. In the corner was an inhumane toilet bowl, overused and under cleaned, privacy was non-existent. Patience was a virtue, especially while waiting to have Nicki back in his arms. She was all he could think about, the only thing that kept him from drowning in the lonely pit that held him. Worry was strong in his mind. He was desperate to know how she was doing. How upset or lonely she was; hoping his fuckery didn’t hurt her too much. Suddenly he hated himself for abandoning her; practically spitting in her face after spending quality time together. The feeling was like a void, an aching, gnawing pain. He felt useless. The person who needed him was alone and he was keeping company convicts who couldn’t give less of a damn about him. He craved his phone call, needing to hear her voice even if it went to voicemail. He didn’t care. But Beast was running shit tonight and she’d denied him his one phone call eight times already. And he couldn’t bring himself to ask again. Hearing her say “no” one more time would put him under. Beast would randomly look over at him and smile; he wanted her dead. The misery was almost indescribable, it was am angst feeling deep within, an emptiness that caused a heavy, abyssal, un-soothable pain, he was left to endure. Closing his eyes he tried to rest, it was 3:30AM last time beast updated him. And slowly but surely worn out, Safaree sunk into unconsciousness.

It was morning. The new day sun was nowhere in sight in the cell. Over the course of the night Beast had gotten out all her frustrations toward SB. She was weirdly happy to let him go now. Telling him “Say hi to your girlfriend for me” and giving him his wallet back before he walked out into the blinding sun. Taking in the outside smell, he hailed a cab; so ready to be home. The ride was excruciating, seeming to drag on endlessly. His stomach turned when the cab pulled up in front of their building. He threw two hundreds at the cab driver, overpaying him by one hundred and forty five dollars. But money was the last thing on his mind. Running up the stairs instead of taking the elevator, he threw the front door open yelling “Nicki” Before he could move he heard her little footsteps scurrying across the floor, getting louder until she was leaping into his arms. He constricted her and she did the same. But after only a moment in the embrace, her weight seemed to lessen by the second. His now empty hands dropped to his sides. She was gone.

“Nicki!” He screamed now upright; heavily breathing, taking in his surroundings. The dark frozen cell stared back at him. He couldn’t be at peace even in his dreams.

“Are you okay? Who’s Nicki?” Beast asked approaching his cell, staring at him curiously. Aware of his nightmare or hallucinations she was actually worried. SB just looked back at her questioning. This shit was her fault, bringing him in and now she wants to know if he’s okay? She was obviously twisted in the head.

“Look you can either talk to me or sit alone. I’m just trying to keep you company here.” Her deep, baritone voice was calm, soft. Though her company is not what he desired she was right. Sitting alone wasn’t doing any good. He sighed.

“She’s my fiancée. You know the person you took me from.” He lay back down on the solid, torturous mattress. Beast sat down on the ground, leaning against the bars.    

“Yeah I’m sorry about that man. I don’t mean to be such a” She paused for a moment. “A bitch. I just can’t stand seeing happy couples sometimes. So I try and mess stuff up. It helps only for a little while. Then it’s right back to…” She didn’t finish. Longing radiated every time she spoke. SB perched himself on his elbow watching the hunched over beast through the thick bars.

“Back to what?” He whispered.

“I know I can be intimidating, and I know I’m not attractive. And some people even think I’m gay, but truth is I’m just a girl, you know.” Her shoulders hung forward. “Last date I went on was seven years ago. And sometimes I just want to be reminded that I can be loved.” She finished voice breaking. Taking deep breaths she fought the need to cry. SB rolled off the cursed mattress and sat down by her on the other side of the bars.

“I’m sure there are some guys who…”

“No there’s not” She interrupted. “Look at me. I’m nobody’s type.” Her round, ill shaped eyes watered.

“How would you know that? You have to put yourself out there. And yeah you might look stupid to people and have to do some embarrassing shit. But you’ll be a lot closer to finding someone than you are now.” His voice was comforting. It sang to her heart slowly pulling from the mud pit she’d lost herself in.

“I’ve never been touched okay. Not even a simple hug. It’s the smallest thing. What does that say about me?” The dimmed light coming from the far away lamp made the mood all the more depressing, both their situations we’re a struggle.

“It says to me that you’re a good person and it’s just taking people some time to see it. But if you’re always ruining relationships and pushing people away you’ll never be happy.”

“Do you really think I’m a good person?” Her tears had long since spilled over, spotting the neck of her shirt.

“I know you are. Now you gotta show everyone else.” He placed his hand over hers; comforting. Beast smiled sincerely for the first time; standing up strutting to the huge desk grabbing the keys. SB smiled inside as she unlocked the cell door. He immediately thought of Nicki. Whenever she came to my mind, his heart beat faster. She was letting him out; he couldn’t breathe. No longer did he want to crawl into a ball and hide from the world along with beast.

“I’m sorry. You don’t belong here. Now go home to your fiancée, and say Hi to her for me.” She wiped her drying tears.

"You’ll find someone. Just give it time.” And he gave her a swift hug before darting out the door. Mission get home to Nicki was initiated.

Meanwhile back at the condo Drake had convinced Nicki to come with him into the living room and watch TV. After he heard her whining in her sleep calling for “Safaree” He decided it time to cheer her up. They lounged on the couch. She rested against his shoulder with her feet up. He had made sure she ate, got her to stop crying, and got her out of the room. He felt good about himself, that maybe while she lay against him maybe she was warming up to him. She didn’t protest when he put his arm around her shoulder pulling her closer. He just needed to know that he mattered, and yearned for her to love him as much as he loved her.

“You feel okay?” He asked turning her head checking for lingering tears. There were none.

“okay” She agreed. But didn’t dare say she felt better.

“So what’s happening here?” He asked. “I mean since earlier we……I mean you let me….” He struggled for the words; took a deep breath and tried again. “What I'm asking is will everything just back to the way it was before he left? You forgave him for that?” The TV seemed to no longer have sound. Just muted pictures flashed across the screen.

“He didn’t leave Drake. He was arrested.” This came out in a sneer. SB would never leave her, unless against his will. And even if he did, she would forgive him.

“Yeah but he chose to get arrested, and wound up leaving you alone. You would just forgive him that easily?” He was annoyed, he couldn’t even get the time of day from her, but Safaree could be stupid and hurt her and he gets forgiven just like that. She took a deep breath.

“There’s nothing to forgive.” Nic informed intently. Drake’s face scrunched like he’d just eaten a lime.

“Well I think differently”

“Look he’s not on trial. It doesn’t matter what you think.” She spat, shrugging off of his shoulder leaning against the back of the couch. That hurt him “It doesn’t matter what you think” He wondered if she really felt that way or was she just upset right now. He looked down playing with his fingers.

“I’m sorry” Nic felt bad, instantly wishing she could take it back. Though she didn’t agree, she understood where he was coming from. The playing with his fingers seized. He picked up her hand from her lap and pressed it to his warm chest. Through his t-shirt, she could feel the steady beating of his heart.

“You feel that strong beat? That’s a superman beat. I got that S on my chest.” His jokes were always so corny. But staying angry with Drake was too much work. His corny, pretty boy tendencies were appealing. Nic started to smile pulling her hand away from his chest.

“Would you shut up.” She laughed. Soon after the laughing died.

“I love you” He whispered into her ear.

“Why me?” She sighed.

“I don’t know. From the first day we met I knew I’d love you forever.” He looked into her face with suddenly piercing eyes. "But I’ll never see anyone else, Nicki. I only see you. Even when I close my eyes and try to see someone else.” She dropped her eyes to their hands, his was laying over hers. They weren't talking anymore. The only sound was of the low TV volume, and rain now falling against the window pane. She looked up at him again, his eyes were anxious now. In his attempts to keep her with hi, he reached on the end table and grabbed the Tuvie universal remote, scrolling through the music turning to Joe – I wanna know. He put his arms around her & rocked her gently to the soft beat.

“This is our song” He informed. She could almost feel Safaree next to her. The way he always danced with her. In this minute she was happy, imagining him holding her, swaying. After the song faded out she sat back against the couch, he laid his head on her chest, closer to her neck than her breasts. He didn’t want to push his luck that far.

"Don’t move; just let me stay like this." She sighed, stroking his hair. She couldn’t help but feel bad; unable to imagine what he goes through. Loving someone deeply and they don’t feel the same. Her love for him just was not on that level, but her love for him also made it hard to continuously push him away.
 

"Drake you have to get up.”

"Nooo" he begged hugging her tighter. She reached back to pull his arms away, but they didn’t budge. He held on for dear life; clinging as she attempted to get up. His weight felt like two times more than hers. He fell back along the length of the couch bringing Nicki down with him; she crashed on top of him, hitting his chest hard. She tried to get up again, but he moved forward sitting up. His adjustment positioned Nicki on his lap, straddling him.

"Don’t go Nicki, please. I don't wanna be alone." He pleaded, his hands still wrapped around her tiny frame. That was an ironic statement considering her situation. Even though he was trying to win her over and get her to choose him over Safaree, she didn’t want to leave him alone, nor did she want to be.

He ran his hands down her back, and along the sides of her thighs. Her breath hitched. Hooked his hands around the back of her knees slowly, gently pulling her forward, she gripped his arms. He slid his hands back up to her waist, gripping the hem of her shirt scrunching it in his hands.

“Drake” She panted.

“Keep going?” He asked breathless. This was new contact, territory he’d never experienced. She grabbed his hands; stopping them from advancing. Her face was pained. An expression similar to earlier in the bedroom.

“Don’t” Her voice was stern. She could feel him between her legs.

“You want me to stop?”

“You shouldn’t have started. What the fuck is wrong with you!” She began to get up from him, ready to punch him in the face if he tried to stop her again.

"Wait" He panicked, his hand tightening around her. "I'm sorry . . . Okay?  I.. I.. I won’t do it again ever. I Promise." He stumbled over his words holding her hands when she attempted to swing. “Please, just stay with me”

 She was fine until he’d done what he did. Her mind shifted back to Safaree and when she would see him again, hold him, kiss him. It had already seemed like too long. And what would he think if he saw the dreadful sight of his love straddling Drake; of all people. Her stomach twisted hurling sobs up her chest, but she suppressed them, slowly scooted off of him careful not to stroke his manhood. Keys twiddling in the door startled them both, sending a lightning bolt of fear through their bodies. SB came into view with two dozen pink roses in hand. A horrified expression banked Nicki’s features. Drake looked to her, then SB. He knew he fucked up, now hoping he didn’t ruin their relationship. That would kill Nicki.

Drake covered his face with his hands. "Nicki, I'm so sorry. I ain't mean to..." He trailed off.

Safaree was locked in place, speaking no words. But his dumbfounded expression spoke volumes.

~TBC~